


Fly aways

by Mufffy



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: A third chapter isn't planned hopefully.. But I have an idea if I ever feel like it ;3, Aha, Angst, Because yes, Fluff and Angst, Fly aways, Gay, Kinda, Love Confessions, M/M, Napping, Vent?, because, found a few, jeremy has bed head, not really - Freeform, there are no real tags i can tag tbh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-20
Updated: 2018-05-29
Packaged: 2019-03-07 00:18:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,981
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13422684
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mufffy/pseuds/Mufffy
Summary: “I wonder if you’ll figure it out one day..” Michael carded his fingers through Jeremy’s hair one last time before pulling his bangs against his head, bending down to kiss his forehead before straightening back up “..Night Jer”





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> i had this idea and it's pretty bad but i did it anyways ahahlwairsukjdgfxc  
> /  
> a story posted right after another :U  
> yes, i'm feeling less lazy  
> \  
> and have over 20 stories i need to write so,, ing fly

“Jerry?” Michael whispered. Jeremy was fast asleep in his lap. Had to make sure though. It was about two AM and Michael had been in love for years. Six to be exact. He smiled, only get Jeremy’s light breathing as a response. “You’re not awake?” He smiled, running his fingers through Jeremy’s hair. “Cool..”

 

“So.. I’ve been thinking about telling you things. Like, how I like you- and not just like like you. Like.. really like you.” Michael whispered, glancing down at Jeremy to make sure he was still asleep “That, I love you... Like really love you. And seeing you with Christine hurt for a long time. A month felt like years- and.. Then you broke up and. Fuck. I felt so guilty that I was so happy you broke it off, not Chris, but you and... Because you didn’t like her like you thought. Then you realized you were bi and I finally thought I had a chance and I kind of do but you know how you’re scared to ruin your friendship? Because you’re that gay for your best friend” he laughed to himself, still talking to a sleeping Jer.

 

“You know.. I just really had to tell you that I love you. Like- A hell of a lot and maybe one day I can ask you out on a date... And you can come to me and cry like when your mom left, sorry, rough topic, I know you don’t like talking about her.. I’m glad my moms care about you the same” Michael twirled his finger around Jeremy’s hair “..I’m scared for us”

 

“I’m scared one day you’re just going to wake up and realize that... You’re as beautiful as I think you are and leave me again. When you realize just how amazing you are without me, and leave... I’m scared to lose you... I-I know it’s random to say... But I don’t want to lose you again. It hurt so much to see you walk away that Halloween and just up and leave... I don’t know how on earth we’re still friends but I’m glad we are. To just... Be close sometimes. I don’t know..” He mumbled continuing with carding his fingers through Jeremy’s curls “It’s just rambling and.. nonsense” he mumbled, teasing a curl “I like this curl, it’s always been my favorite. For almost three years I’ve loved it, and it’s still my favorite... Like your little flyaways when you wake up, back here” He moved his hand to the back of his head, moving the flyaways around “When you wake up you’re gonna have them... And I can’t wait for that” Michael whispered, sliding his hand down Jeremy’s face to his cheek.

 

He smiled, rubbing his finger across his cheekbone, watching the smile play out on his face “Sometimes it’s hard to tell if you love me back or not... But then it’s like I know you do, but I don’t so I should ask but if I do then it could ruin our friendship, and a world without you just wouldn’t be worth living- not say I’d kill myself but I’d definitely miss you..” Michael looked down at Jeremy’s soft smile and features “Everything is so soft” he mumbled, rubbing his thumb across his cheekbone, moving his hand back to Jeremy’s hair.

 

“Your hair is so soft and- oh my god, that time last week? When the snow stuck to your hair and you kept trying to shake it out... You looked amazing” he smiled “You were adorable, like some baby deer experiencing snow for the first time, that curious eyed look and how your eyes dilated in that one picture I took and you looked scared of the snow but so happy it was snowing at the same time...It was beautiful” Michael looked down, Jeremy still sleeping.

 

It was quiet for a few seconds. Just Michael carding his fingers through Jeremy’s hair. It was nice. Michael got his feelings out and Jeremy didn’t know anything. It was great. “So why do i feel so bad..” Michael mumbled, staring up at the ceiling “I thought telling the person you love, you loved them, was going to make you feel happy and giddy and.. Better.. So why do i feel so horrible about it?” He mumbled, staring at the stupid basement ceiling “Why can’t i be happy about it? I got the feelings out, I told you, I confessed and now.. I feel numb.. Like none of it matters” He sighed, looking back down at Jeremy. Same position. Same slow breathing. “..Nothing changed”

 

“It didn’t matter because it doesn’t change anything” He frowned, watching a certain curl fall “And you have no idea.. That your best friend of thirteen years is in love with you. Of course you don’t.. Would you even care?” Michael blinked “Of course you would” he laughed lightly to himself, not disturbing Jeremy “It would affect you a lot and.. You’d probably not be surprised if I'm honest. It’s not exactly a secret, I mean, I haven’t gone out and said it.. Until now- but no ones here so.. It doesn’t change anything”

 

“I could say anything right now and it would still be the same no matter what I do so why not just tell you I’m in love with you over and over again.. I just. Really love you.. And you have no idea how much i mean that- I mean.. Love is something else, It’s like.. Being happy to get scared- Like, You’re happy that you are scared.. Or, how i see it” Michael mumbled “But, It’s like.. You want someone, so badly. You want them to be yours and only yours and you want them to see you and want to see you, Like they want to come to you and you want the first thing on their mind to be you.. And you’re always on their mind, and you want them to care about you just as much and you’d do anything for them. Anything if they asked for it. In an instant, you’d agree to whatever they say, no matter if you agree or not to make them happy.. You would try your best to keep them happy. To just.. See them smiling one more day” Jeremy looked down at the small smile Jeremy still had on his face.

 

“..I wonder what you think love means. Maybe it’s something cheesy like caring and wanting to protect them” Michael snickered “Although i guess it is. But so much more.. It’s wanting someone back even though they don’t want you like- ..Not wanting to live in a world without them because they’re not there and your only reason is to be there with them.. You’re just attracted and attracted and you need to just- connect. But you don’t know how.. Or, I still don’t know how”

 

“I wish i knew.. I wish i knew the way to get you to fall in love with me.. To see you every morning and exchange kisses in the car. To wake up every morning with you, and play with your horrible bed head because you get embarrassed easily by it, and oh man those fly aways.. I love those fly aways a lot”

 

“I don’t know why you don’t like them, They’re the cutest thing in the whole world and here you are, wishing they would lay down and never come back.. It’s like saying you don’t want a kitten to come back- it’s that cute man. How do you not like them?” He breathed a whisper, looking down at Jeremy’s mess of a hair he’s made from running his fingers through it “Oops.. guess there’s gonna be a lot of them now” He mumbled, flicking the flyaways, making sure not to hit his head

 

“I wonder if you’ll figure it out one day..” Michael carded his fingers through Jeremy’s hair one last time before pulling his bangs against his head, bending down to kiss his forehead before straightening back up “..Night Jer”

 

“...Night Michael”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This goes out to the majority of people who wanted more, I know it's long over due, but I'm a moody person but thank you
> 
> Drowninginchamomiletea  
> Actual_trash_xx  
> Lesbian_Laurens  
> Littlemsterious  
> SkittleO3
> 
> And importantly tomachan being the main reason I wrote this second chapter with their very excited comment XD I know it's been forever, maybe you guys won't see this, but if you do, thanks for encouraging me
> 
> I hope this is what you guys wanted more of

Michael felt his heart stop at Jeremy's words. He swallowed and took his shaky hand away from Jeremy's curls. Michael looked anywhere but at Jeremy, thinking of what to do. He couldn't get up and leave because it was his house, not to mention Jeremy was still in his lap. Michael closed his eyes, feeling them burn with tears he was forcing to be held back. Better to face rejection then ignore the problem.

"How much.. Did you hear?" Michael whispered, laying his warm hand on Jeremy's shoulder. 

Jeremy yawned softly as he sat up, setting his hair down as he leaned back on the couch. He smiled at Michael, humming softly before grinning widely "Around where you were explaining what love was? I started smiling like right after " he mumbled sheepishly, looking down.

Michael stayed looking down. He felt himself playing with the hem of his sweatshirt sleeve. A rare nervous tick. A dependency. He bit his lip and held his sleeve as if his life depended on it "And?" He whispered, licking his lips quickly. His eyes burned even more, threatening to spill over.

Jeremy stayed quiet as he looked down. He stood up, making Michael's heart race in his chest. He slowly sat back down, sitting on his leg. And just a bit closer to Michael. Not like Jeremy would say that, but Michael noticed.

"I'm so sorry" Michael whispered, feeling the tears fall down his face. Michael felt Jeremy tense next to him, his hands that were in his lap jumping up an inch before hesitantly laying back on his leg "I'm so fucking sorry" Michael hiccuped, leaning forward to cry in his hands.

Jeremy watched him, feeling his heart break. He sat, not knowing what to do. He opened his mouth, trying to speak before only placing his hand on Michael's shoulder "I'm sorry too, I really suck at this" Jeremy sighed, his hand curling in the fabric of Michael's hoodie.

"It's not your fault" Michael smiled sadly as he looked up, staring his reflection down in the tv. Maybe if he stared at it long enough, the reflection of Jeremy would fade out of his vision. He was wrong. His stare only move to Jeremy, feeling his heart ache at the sight of Jeremy's sad expression "I mean-" Michael broke the silence making Jeremy tense "I put you in a tough spot" he chuckled, rubbing his eyes "Making you just.. Question your best friend like that. I'm sorry" Michael mumbled.

"Don't apologize.." Jeremy whispered, running one finger across Michael's shoulder "You should never apologize for loving someone" he smiled, sliding his hand up and down Michael's back. Michael felt himself breaking under those words. How could he not be? He didn't mean for Jeremy to practically be forced into this situation. He was sorry Jeremy had to deal with him right now. He still felt sorry that he's making everything awkward and making Jeremy uncomfortable. When he felt Jeremy's hand stop he took a breath and sat up, sniffling as he rubbed his face, trying to get rid of the tear tracks staining his face.

"It's okay" Jeremy whispered, his fingers trailing up Michael's cheek to his temple. Michael felt his face heat up as Jeremy lightly pulled his head to make him look at him. Michael took to looking away more, squeezing his eyes tightly. That must've made more tears fall because Michael felt Jeremy's thumb graze over his cheek to wipe away the streak of warmth "Michael.. Baby, look at me"

Michael felt his heart stop for a second before racing at the nickname. He slowly opened his eyes, letting Jeremy turn his head to look at him. Jeremy smiled softly, moving the hand on his shoulder to Michael's other cheek so he could hold his face. He wiped under the corners of Michael's eyes before rubbing his cheek "Don't ever think I don't love you more than you love me" he grinned. Michael felt his heart relax before he let out a sob, going to turn away before Jeremy pulled him in. Michael would've faltered if he hadn't been bawling his eyes out in the moment. Jeremy held onto Michael's neck, playing with the small curls before wrapping his arms around him to pull him closer. Jeremy even squeezed him, taking fist fulls of Michael's hoodie to grip.

Michael raised his arms to hold Jeremy small figure, hugging him lightly. He hesitated before taking a breath and burying his face into Jeremy neck "I'm still sorry.." He mumbled "I thought for sure I'd ruin our friendship" he murmured, his heart practically breaking in that moment as he realized Jeremy didn't say he loved him in the romantic sense. Michael was tempted to pull away and call it a night before Jeremy rubbed his head.

"Stop apologizing" he laughed. Michael's anxious melted away at the bare sound of Jeremy's laugh. He remembers telling Jeremy lame jokes as kids to make him laugh, just to hear it.

"I.. don't know what else to say. I just made everything worse" he mumbled, about to continue before Jeremy pinched his ear "Ow-"

"You never make things worse, you hear me?" Jeremy's tone was soft but demanding like a mother's. Michael regret thinking of Jeremy as a mother instantly.

"Yeah..?" Michael mumbled in his neck.

"I love you, Michael" Michael felt himself tense as his eyes widened "You're my best friend and I hate it when you talk down on yourself" Jeremy frowned. So did Michael. 

"Jeremy.. How do you love me?" Michael mumbled, playing with the hem of Jeremy's shirt. It must've made him flustered since Jeremy flinched almost immediately after.

"I.. Just do?" Jeremy answered more as a question "I- I don't understand what you're asking.."

"Fuck Jer" Michael sighed and leaned up, his hands staying under Jeremy's shirt "I-" Michael inhaled and let out some of the anger in his tone "I.. I love you" Michael whispered, feeling his tears swell again.

Jeremy stared at him and blinked once or twice before his hands started fidgeting again "Did- I.. I do..." Michael looked up to see Jeremy's flustered face before Jeremy huffed "There's too much going on in my head!" He whined "I. Yes, I know you love me, and I love you too, and-"

"Ah, wait" Michael cut him off, smiling at Jeremy's slightly annoyed face "You know in love you.. romantically.." Michael watched Jeremy's eyes widen briefly "Right?" Michael whispered. Jeremy sat for a second, his fingers playing with Michael's hood "You did know right?" Michael whispered again before letting his hands fall onto Jeremy's hips in realization "Oh my god you.. Fuck" Michael whispered "I'm so sorry, you should-"

Michael's words were cut off by soft lips on his. Michael's hands found themselves gripping Jeremy's hips instead of laying limp. When he finally closed his eyes to relax Jeremy must've thought Michael's faltering as a bad sign. Michael chased Jeremy's lips, separating for a second before reconnecting. Michael leaned over Jeremy's body, his hands moving up and down Jeremy's sides as he moved his lips with Jeremy's. Jeremy smiled softly before pushing Michael's chest off of him to take in a breath, looking to the side only for Michael to attack his neck with kisses. Jeremy squealed, pushing him further away as he glared at Michael.

"So.. Is that a love you too? Or.." Michael trailed off, looking down at Jeremy anxiously.

"It's a 'I'm ready to date my best friend' is what that was" Jeremy laughed.

Michael gasped, looking up at him "Jeremy... Will you be my boyfriend?" He whispered, feeling his eyes tear up at Jeremy's smug smile.

"I'd love to be" Jeremy whispered, moving an arm to wipe away Michael's tear. Michael laughed softly before wrapping his arms around Jeremy's waist and standing up. Jeremy jumped, wrapping his arms tightly around Michael's neck as his short legs bent under Michael's spin "You can put me down now- actually, that's a beg- please put me down!" Jeremy whined, burying his face into Michael's hoodie. Michael smiled and stopped spinning, putting Jeremy down on the ground. Jeremy smiled up at him and stood on his toes to kiss Michael's nose "Did you really mean all that cheesy stuff you said about kissing in the car and waking up next to each other..?" Jeremy grinned.

Michael laughed softly and shrugged "Guilty" he mumbled.

Jeremy rolled his eyes and took Michael's hand as he sat on the bed, laying back before pulling Michael down with him. Michael smiled widely, moving his legs to wrap around Jeremy's. 

"That legs asleep" Jeremy mumbled, his foot twitching every few seconds "I was sitting on it for a long time"

"Ew, is it tingley?"

Jeremy was quiet for a long second before smiling "No Michael, it feels fucking amazing and normal and not like thousands of needles are poking it repeatedly!" He huffed. Michael closed his mouth, not daring a laugh "Yes Michael, it's tingley" he mumbled a few seconds after, kissing Michael's cheek. Michael smiled softly, leaning over him to press another kiss to his lips. Jeremy made a small sound under him, smiling once Michael pulled away "You like the kisses?" Jeremy grinned.

"I love them" Michael whispered, kissing him again "You know what else I love?" Michael smirked.

Jeremy felt his face heat up as he looked at Michael "What..?"

"Your fly aways" Michael grinned, nuzzling into Jeremy's hair.

"Go to sleep!" Jeremy near scream whispered before rolling to face away from him.

"Aw, alright alright, you know what else i love?" Michael smiled, kissing the back of Jeremy's neck.

"Go to sleep, mell" Jeremy muttered.

"No, no, I'm serious.." Michael pouted against Jeremy's neck, pulling Jeremy down to kiss his head.

Jeremy sighed softly and smiled "What, Michael?" He whispered.

"You"


End file.
